Not Forgotten
by CarolynneRuth
Summary: Kate's reflections upon her release from prison.  Post Season 6.


_Loneliness be over. __When will this loneliness by over? – Map of the Problematique, Muse._

**Not Forgotten**

Kate glanced at her appearance in the mirror. What happened to the girl? Who was the woman that stood before her? _It's not me. It can't be me. _But it was her face, long forgotten, now broken, inside at least. She clutched the sides of the basin with her hands till her knuckles grew white. This place stole too much and it had taken everything, what was left, what she had left to give.

* * *

><p><em>Could the defendant please stand.<em>

_Kate stood, slowly, glancing nervously from the jury to the judge, faces set as stone, her heart beating irregularly in fear. It didn't look good. The judge was staring at her, his expression blank. She swallowed and glanced sideways at her attorney. His expression was fixated on the judge. She had a bad feeling about this._

'_Kate Austen you stand before the court today as breach of your parole by boarding _Airji_ Flight 316 on the 14__th__ of September 2007, the jury today have found you guilty of the said crime and you will hereby be sentenced to two years imprisonment, followed by 10 years parole on your release.'_

* * *

><p>Kate's eyes met with the eyes of the stranger in the mirror. Two years had been a lot longer than she thought <em>too long.<em> She had even spent her 30th birthday in this place. That had been the first year. And she had almost forgotten, whispering in the dark _happy birthday Kate _the loneliness creeping around her_. _Now she was 32 and today of all days, her release from prison.

"Don't worry girl," Stella said beside her, brushing her yellowed teeth, "you're still young and pretty."

Kate didn't even bother commenting.

"Still plenty of time to catch a man," she continued.

"I'm not interested in catching a man," Kate scoffed, the bitterness evident in her voice.

Every man she'd ever been with always left sooner or later in one way or another.

* * *

><p><em>Her eyes searched for Sawyer, James now, but she still thought of him as Sawyer. She doubted he would show, hoped against hope that he would. He wasn't there and her eyes fell on Claire and Carole Littleton. Claire looked shell shocked, pale white. Kate turned to her attorney. <em>

'_It had all been for nothing,' she muttered to him._

_But not quite nothing, she had brought Claire back, reunited her with Aaron but she had lost – everything. Jack was dead. Aaron now belonged to Claire and as for James? No doubt he was at some tavern drowning his sorrows because he wasn't here at her trial. _

* * *

><p>"You got anyone picking you up?" Stella asked, rubbing her wrinkled face with a cloth.<p>

"No."

She was all alone and the face that looked back at her in the mirror knew it. Funnily enough she still had her house. She could imagine it lying there unused, waiting for her return, the array of dainty shoes and pretty colourful clothes untouched. A nice change from the customary orange overalls she was forced to wear in this place and the clothes given to her on her release were not much better. Plain navy blue slacks and a light blue shirt.

* * *

><p><em>Claire had been the first person to visit her in prison.<em>

'_What do I do,' she had wailed, 'you've been his mom all this time, how will he ever accept me, he keeps asking for you.'_

'_You have to be his mom Claire, you are his mom. He is your son!'_

_Carole Littleton was with Claire, she was getting the appropriate help, she would be alright but as for her? It was hell losing everything that had ever mattered the most to her._

'_I'll write you every day,' Claire had cried._

_Kate knew it wouldn't happen. Knew it was unlikely she'd see Aaron again and maybe that was for the best. It was best for all concerned this way. Aaron would be too young to remember her. _

* * *

><p>"You say that now girlie but just you wait, a couple of months out of here, this place forgotten and put behind you and it'll all be good again," Stella spoke with much confidence.<p>

Kate found it hard to believe. There was nothing out there for her.

"You ready Ms Austen," a female warden called from the door.

"Yes."

Kate was glad to turn away from the mirror and the sad image of the woman who stared back at her. At least she was going to be free and out of this place, a chance at life again. So why did she feel so empty inside?

* * *

><p><em>James had been the second person to visit. He'd looked worse for wear.<em>

'_Sorry I didn't make your trial,' he'd said._

'_What are you doing here James?' she'd replied, the words catching in her throat. 'The last I saw of you, you were walking out my front door never so much as a goodbye, half pissed.'_

_He had had the audacity to look ashamed._

'_You have every right to hate me,' he had said sadly, slowly._

_She couldn't hate him. He had lost just as much. He was in hell just like her._

'_Go live your life James.'_

_He shook his head. 'What life Kate?'_

'_Go see your daughter and be a father. You have this second chance now.'_

_And then he'd done the unexpected, pulled her into his arms and held her tight. She could smell the scent of his aftershave and she cursed herself for melting into the warmth of his arms and taking the comfort he offered. It brought back memories. It brought tears to her eyes. She wanted to beg him not to go but knew he would, there never was a future for them._

She hadn't expected him to visit again, but he did, 12 months later. He had obviously still been struggling, given his scraggly appearance.

'_Why are you here James?'_

'_To see how you are,' he'd replied, his face too gaunt, dark circles under his eyes._

'_Why?' she frowned._

'_Hell why not Freckles.'_

'_You don't owe me anything,' she'd stated, 'no need for the sense of obligation.'_

_He'd given her an even look. 'Is that what you think Kate?'_

_But she didn't know what to think, never did when it came to him._

'_I'm living with Cassidy,' he told her._

_It had taken a moment for that to register. James shook his head._

'_It ain't what you're thinking Kate,' he'd replied running a hand through his hair which was starting to get too long, brushing his shoulders._

_She waited for him to say more, he seemed distraught. Was he still mourning Juliet after all this time?_

'_Cassidy is dying,' he said at last, 'she's got terminal cancer.'_

_Kate hadn't expected that._

_James gave a hollow bitter laugh._

'_Fuck but I'm cursed,' he'd muttered before glancing at her, 'just as well you picked the doc over me Freckles.'_

_She blinked, tears threatened. What the fuck, no more crying for her. She turned longing eyes to James. He had no idea? What is was she felt for him. She wished she felt nothing. Once she'd seen him with Juliet, and happy she knew it was over for them. Maybe they were just not right for each other. She had loved Jack but there was never going to be a future with him. He was too intense, they were at odds but she wanted to give it a shot, wanted to believe she could have it all. She didn't know what it was she felt for James either? Only that she did and it was strangely protective. _

'_Guess we're both cursed James,' she spoke slowly._

_Not only was there no love for them with others but it looked to be no love for them together. She could almost scream in frustration instead she gave a harsh laugh causing him to frown perplexed. She was definitely cursed._

'_And Clementine?'_

'_Yeah well she's a great kid.'_

_For the first time, a smile lit his face._

* * *

><p>She hadn't seen him since. Often wondered what had happened. Did Cassidy die? Was he a single father now?<p>

* * *

><p>The warden led her down the long corridor past the bars on either side. She never had to see this place again. Soon she would be free once more and then what?<p>

The lady behind the counter looked her over, grimly. No one ever smiled here.

"Name?" she asked, her voice dry and brittle, devoid of life.

"Kate Austen," she replied in a hoarse voice.

The women placed a paper bag in the silver slot in front of her. Kate gingerly took the bag, her worldly possessions, nothing more than the clothes that had been on her back and a simple gold ring, a keepsake from Jack. She didn't need it anymore and left it in the bag.

* * *

><p><em>Hurley had been the third person to visit her. She had thought him to be dead on the island.<em>

'_I'm the new Jacob now,' he'd told her, 'I can leave whenever I want.'_

_She had just nodded dumbfounded before seeing the pained expression on his face and sudden alarm over rode her senses._

'_Jack's dead,' he continued. 'We found his body, well Vincent did.'_

_She had swallowed, her mouth was dry. She couldn't even cry. Emotions were best buried._

'_Sorry to see you in here Kate,' Hurley continued in his kind voice, making her eyes water._

'_I hope you get a happy life.'_

* * *

><p>She was out of prison. Her life was just beginning and a flicker of something ... did she call it happiness? Was that too much? Maybe it was the sudden sense of freedom, the warm air on her cheeks. She closed her eyes for a moment, breathed in that air, it was fresh and sweet.<p>

Her footsteps echoed on the rocky path that led her away from the prison.

She didn't look back. Sounds of everyday assailed her ears, birds screeching, chirping, traffic, the laughter of children's voices carrying on the light breeze. It played with the stray curls at her temples, teasing, tickling the nape of her neck.

Everything was bright, large and beautiful, even the smell of the stinky car fumes as they whizzed by.

But now what? She needed to find a pay phone, call a taxi and find some way of getting home.

'Kate!'

A voice so distant it had to be part of her imagination.

'Kate!' It was closer, more insistent.

She spun around.

Two people in the distant, both blonde, a woman and a boy.

'Kate!'

The woman was waving as she and the boy ran towards her. Kate had to rub her eyes. Surely this was some hallucination?

The boy reached her first. She caught him in her arms, lifted him high up into the air, gazing at him in wonder.

"Aaron," she breathed, before enveloping him in her arms.

"Mommy," he murmured, childish hands tangling in her hair just like they used to.

Her heart bursting with instant joy, was this happening?

Her eyes found Claire's.

Claire gave her a silly, lopsided grin. "Did you think we had forgotten you?"

A silent message passed between them _you're not alone, not forgotten._

'You came back for me Kate and you made sure I wasn't left behind again.'

Claire's eyes sparkled with life and happiness and Kate could see she had found the girl inside, the sickness was gone.

It had been worth it after all, going back, it had been worth it in the end.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **I was going through some old writing folders when I stumbled across this little piece I had written months ago. I thought some people might like it. I'm not even sure if there are any Kate/Sawyer and Claire readers still out there?

Please leave a review if you like. There could possibly be more chapters if enough people are interested? If not I'll leave as is.

Enjoy!


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